A Mirrion Ritter Pieces

I shall return one day, after someone finds my shattered visage buried in the sand.  ”My name is Adrian, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”  http://twitter.com/BombaStarPress

Michael went to jail over the weekend to avoid paying massive fines.  I’ve seemingly exhausted my prison jokes.  I need new material.  

Side Note:  I burned Harry today when we were thinking about where to eat.  Tamer said, “Woodranch!” and I said, “How about we take a tour of places that didn’t hire you and go to the Lazy Dog Cafe too.”

I’m going to give them a reason.

If you make a sandwich with sausage, turkey, pastrami, eggs, provalone and small peppers you will ultimately end up eating it with a knife and fork.

While I was cleaning my room, my mom and Aunt walked in and looked around. 

“What’re you looking for?” I asked.

“Looking for junk i can sell duh’huhuhuhu,” said my Aunt. 

“Well, why don’t you go look in the mirror?” I said, then quickly retorted with, “Ooooohhhhh!  You just got FUUUUUUCKING BURNED!”

Boy howdy, they sure got mad. 

Protip:  Old Filipino women don’t like getting burned, then being told about how badly the got burned. 

You know it’s a problem when you put a bag of ice in your pillow case and sleep on a wet towel.

I’m made of sticks and stones.

Fate.  What have you done to me?  What have I become?  Am I the stalker in the water?  Is it my head breaking the surface?  Am I coiled to strike?  Would I die in the cold?  Would I just sleep?  I am the lizard king.  I am the snake beneath the rock.  This horrible power I’ve been given will consume me as I consume others. 

I did this http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random and became a reptile man. 

It seems like I worked out my chest too hard yesterday.  I woke up today, not feeling sore, but feeling like I had a heart attack.

Today I told a girl wearing red toms that she had cool shoes.  Here in lies my problem.  I have red toms too, but the only other guy I’ve seen in red toms was more than the normal flamboyantly gay guy.  Damn it.  So I asked her if she thought dudes could pull of wearing red toms.  “Yeah dudes can wear red toms……………..GAY DUDES!  OOOOOHHHHHHHH!”  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  gay dudes.  “Yeah.  Right.  What kinda straight guy wears red toms, that’s so gay,”  I said.  Apparently I zoned out for a bit because she was already talking about something else.  God damn it.